Last evening, I joined the ladies for a couple of hours. I am glad I did.
There is something about sharing food with each other that seems to peel away layers of protection more quickly than just sitting side by side.
I enjoyed my conversation with the women I sat with over dinner. I was very much aware of Faith sitting at the adjoining table, once again wearing her long neck scarf and her knitted cap. Each time I have seen her in her knitted cap, I note it is pulled way down on her forehead so that her eyes are either protected or it seems to help her keep her distance.
You know me, never met a stranger and making personal contact, meaningful personal contact, is something that I am driven to do. If someone is closed off from me, I feel I've let them down, not that it is about me, but I just feel I need a real connection with these women. Part of it is growing up lonely as a child, just me and Dad. Part of it is just how God wired me. Whatever the reason, I was drawn to Faith, not because she spoke to me, but because of the shadow I recognized from my father's face. I sensed a level of depression there on this young face -- she would later confirm just that. I asked if she had been enjoying her hot tea in the evenings and she said that she was a decaf tea drinker and since we did not have decaf, she just didn't want to make extra work for someone. (note to self to get decaf tea bags today). Anyway I asked her where she was from and she said Charlotte. I asked her where she went to school and she said South Mecklenburg, and after some more gentle probing, I learned she graduated from Carolina as did her mother and father. In fact that is where her mother and father met, fell in love and would later marry. Her eyes began to brighten and she became more animated in her conversation. I asked what her major was and if she liked what course of study she chose. She said political science and yes then she started talking about her days at Huntingtown Farms school and later her time at South Mecklenburg and how many students graduated there. She said she was the 2,221 graduate in her class. Since my table partners had left, I asked if I could join her at her table. She said yes but with a downcast glaze I asked if she would rather be alone or to go to her room and rest and she asked that I please stay. She took a deep breath and then the pain I had seen in her eyes and demeanor were replaced with the sorrowful words - "father passed away three weeks ago." I asked if her mother were still living -- alas, she had died when Faith was young.
All alone she is, doesn't get to see her brother very often. She talked about her father and how deep and good their relationship was. I'm not going to go into detail here because while she didn't say privacy or speak if it were so, I feel as though it was a private conversation that passed between us. She changed the subject to lighter topics, books, movies, etc. She then excused herself and said she was headed to her room. I hung back rather than walk with her to The Fellowship Hall. After a few minutes, I walked over. Yoga was underway for the ladies -- wow, didn't know Tandy was so nimble and that Ann Arentz, well, she can just about bend her head between her knees. Shirley Coffman's legs go way high. I was watching them, and then Faith walks up to me and puts her arms out as if for a hug. You know how you give the half hugs, well, she hugged me tight and I hugged her back -- tears were streaming down her face and she said thank you. Faith said "I have not been able to talk about my father."
This morning, she is bright, speaks to me first and smiles as she gets her morning beverages.
Human connection, a soft touch, a soft voice, and a sincere wish to help. Last night I connected, but so did Faith.
God is Great!
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