Ahhh, tonight is like a girls "PJ" party. The tension of the first few days, the newness, the apprehension is gone on the surface. Tonight, one group is eating Anne Arentz' Bryers Strawberry Ice Cream with bananas, another group is eating her chocolate and bananas (mind you the Skorvetz) family who served a fine dinner also served Chocolate chess pie with real whip cream and coffee with real cream. After dinner, the miniature chocolates prepared and delivered by Alice Majure were divine -- potato candy -- you're reading right, potato with a vein of peanut butter. Better than yum. Amazing!
Yet another group is watching the story of Chef Julia Child who took France over by cooking one chocolate éclair at a time. Another group of ladies are conversing about various things, grandchildren, and special stories they wish to share with each other. Then there are the book worms. Helen has just completed reading Chip Furr's Thin Places. Chaney discovered where the phone is and is making up for lost time by conversing with her mother, family and associates. Everyone was anxious to receive their laundry. One of our helpers had to deal with an old dryer that was working overtime, but she completed the drying and folding and returned the fragrant linens during supper and before bedtime. All is well.
Even the chaperons are winding down at last - Wink is reading her Sunday School lesson.
Jan is straightening up the supplies, and Paulette is wrapping up notes from the days' job barrier conversation with our guests.
Paulette invited our guests to begin focusing upon and talking about the barriers they perceive as hurdles to overcome as they search for jobs...Our guest musician and choirster Nancy was direct with the need for more computer time, and a place in which to quietly work on their paperwork and easier access to bus passes when interview appointments are scheduled-- with less requirements. Each affirmed they must complete ten job searches and confirm contact with each of the companies each week. They are obviously hampered by lack of basic resources. The downtown library, once an ideal site for computer time to file applications on line - the new norm for human resource to receive applications - now seems to be dominated by the crush of the men's use of the computer center. Space requirements for handling the volume of women and children in the HOPE Center have placed demands on the "Resource" room once made available for job search and working on paper work when the Center first opened. Our guests appreciate the visual and substantive changes we are making to their resumes and the extra copies we provide to them. We also note they need assistance in writing long awaited letters to families and for business related matters. They are very thankful for any service we provide to them. Annie shared her contact about the Rehab Center as did Chaney and Wanda. Annie prefers to not enter the Center, and minimizes her contact with the personnel there, preferring to work independently. She begins seasonal work on November 29th with Samaritans' Purse - her second year to work there. A long bus ride with multiple changes.
Each guest has been given contact information for job resources of Pro Net, Charlotte and JOBS. We've also shared news of Wal-Mart job openings as well as UPS package/driver coordinators now. A harder suggestion, but a good one is to encourage them to read the newspaper from cover to cover to learn what is going on the business world, to give them more timely conversation fodder to offer while in the interviewing process. When one is worn out with no freedom, no control, and too many "NOT HIRING", it is hard to pick up a paper and read about the days' news.
It is amazing how organized Tandy, Jill and Nancy are in their administration of this project. They arrive early, stay late, sweep, copy, search, hug, secure, clean, fix beverages and find cookies at the last moment and and sincerely give of their best to help each of our guests. They meet with each of our guests, staying constantly on the watch for the slightest need that is real and ferret out the unreal need. When Fran became ill, each were there to provide clear beverages and warm up soup and just let her know they were concerned for her. She is well now and back to her lively self.
Now the rooms are darkening, and the voices are getting silent. Even their nighttime voice is at a different pitch -- softening as needed for the sleep of others. Laughter comes easy now. Most plan to attend Providence Presbyterian's 9 AM worship service with their chaperons and other volunteers. We hope they do.
Postscript: Eight of our eleven guests attended Church services and Nancy sang in the choir. We are proud of their sacrifice of much needed sleep in a quiet and peaceful place in order to attend services. They were waving to Tandy, Paulette and Nancy in the choir loft and smiling big. Hansen was constantly looking their way during his sermon, and they spoke with him afterwards.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Move over, Walt! I think we have a preacher in our midst!
Helen is a complex, private individual whose faith and understanding of the Bible is not at all private but about as complex as she is. She is always the first up and completely dressed when I get there at 5:30 AM so we do get some private time together. As she sat in the dining room eating her oatmeal, I was putting some napkins out and asked her where she was from. "Now why does everyone ask me that?" I replied "Because it is a good place to start a conversation." "Well, I don't share much of anything with anyone about myself. I don't tell people about my children. I'm widowed and I am alone. You know, kind of like Jesus when he was told his mother and brothers were outside to see him. He said that these were his family and his brothers. Do you remember that part?". "Yes," I said "and I never have understood that." "What do you mean?" "Well, it always bothered me that He did not 'honor his mother and father' - it always seemed to me that he was denying his family - and I never could understand why He he did that."
I do wish I could quote to you verbatim her response but it was just so profound that I had to just lean back against the doorjamb and listen and comprehend, not remember, if you understand the difference. She proceeded to tell me, teach me, that Jesus was different, he is a part of God, not of the flesh and because of that - as she pinched her own hand - "I am not my old self either. I am not this flesh but born again and no longer the person I was. I never will be again, I couldn't be." Jesus wasn't meant to be understood, she said. I wanted to say "that's for sure" but it would have spoiled her chain of thought. Mine was how can this woman be so profound and have nothing, but I who have more than I need just doesn't get it sometimes. Too busy, too much stuff that gets in the way of paying attention to the God in me, probably.
Last night before dinner, we had a short everyone-standing-up kind of meeting to make announcements about this weekend. I had told them when they first arrived that we had no arrangements for them staying over the weekend. In my mind, I wanted to see how the week would play out because last year I asked our guests who wanted to stay for the weekend and because we got about six staying, we made all kinds of plans with art classes, manicurists, hair dressers, etc. and then only three stayed! I wasn't doing that again. Their disappointment was visible and the question "Can we sleep later?" was very telling. A few days with them told me that they were pretty compatible, respectful of each other's space and very polite and respectful to us. And of course, I was beginning to feel guilty!! After reading the article in the Observer about the Southern Christmas Show and having participated in that for years with my business, I called the Southern Shows and asked if we could possibly have some free tickets for our group. I've worked with the owners, Robert, Joan and David Zimmerman who I found out this morning is on the SACOH board, for years and their advertising department were eager to give me tickets - 16 of them! At the meeting, I explained to the women our experience last year with people changing their minds and how we have to adjust drivers, meals, etc. and then presented them with three choices. When I told them they could stay on our campus for the weekend, they cheered. When I told them I had tickets for the show, there was even more cheering. I had made up a chart - previous experiences are as good as hind sight - and told our guests that I was going to pass around two charts, one for Saturday with 3 choices and one for Sunday with 2. Then I said to them with a big smile on my face that whatever they commit themselves to on this paper by the next morning, THEY WOULD HAVE TO DO!! Everybody laughed and by this morning the charts were completely filled out. The results are that only one person wants to go to the COH on Saturday to meet her daughter, four want to stay on campus and six want to go to the show. On Sunday, we have 3 going back to attend their own churches and eight staying on campus.
You know, one of the most interesting points made in the seminar we had a couple of weeks ago on poverty was that this population doesn't know how to plan for the future. They CAN'T. They don't know from day to day where they will be, who will be in charge, etc. We in the middle class plan for college, vacations, retirement, next week! They can't do that and with that in mind by waiting until a time closer to the weekend for a decision from them perhaps was one reason we got better and more definitive results.
After dinner, we returned to the Fellowship Hall and a yoga instructor was there for our class. The women were quite interested in this when I announced it the first night. We had about six participants along with the chaperones Bentley Ball, Shirley Coffman and Anne Arentz. Yvonne, the instructor, struck the perfect balance with quiet easy moves and a bit of challenge as well. She gave them good ideas about developing balance, like standing on one foot while they brush their teeth or doing that and brushing with their less dominant hand, things they could do no matter what their circumstances. I tried it this morning - wobble, wobble....
Tonight one of our residents from last year, Irene Wilson, who found a job while she was with us at Presby and possibly her daughter Chantelle who was with us and also found a job, are coming for dinner and a visit. A few of us have kept in touch with Irene this past year and she was absolutely delighted "and honored" to come back "with bells on." We are going to give her and any guest who wants to join her the opportunity to speak in private about her past year, what she has accomplished and how. I hope they take inspiration and motivation from her story and realize that the situation they are in is surmountable with some determination. I say that easily but I know it's a bad situation and I am so in awe of what Irene has done. Because she got the job during the time she was with us, I hope that just having a place to leave her belongings and not having to take them with her to a job interview (can you imagine???) was the tiniest bit of help.
Tomorrow Nancy Templin takes my place for three days but I'm sure I'm going to have to sneak over for a visit or two while I'm "off-duty". Meanwhile, if anyone would like to come over Saturday or Sunday and join us in doing jigsaw puzzles, playing cards, watching TV or just laying low, come on over. "You'll be glad you did."
I do wish I could quote to you verbatim her response but it was just so profound that I had to just lean back against the doorjamb and listen and comprehend, not remember, if you understand the difference. She proceeded to tell me, teach me, that Jesus was different, he is a part of God, not of the flesh and because of that - as she pinched her own hand - "I am not my old self either. I am not this flesh but born again and no longer the person I was. I never will be again, I couldn't be." Jesus wasn't meant to be understood, she said. I wanted to say "that's for sure" but it would have spoiled her chain of thought. Mine was how can this woman be so profound and have nothing, but I who have more than I need just doesn't get it sometimes. Too busy, too much stuff that gets in the way of paying attention to the God in me, probably.
Last night before dinner, we had a short everyone-standing-up kind of meeting to make announcements about this weekend. I had told them when they first arrived that we had no arrangements for them staying over the weekend. In my mind, I wanted to see how the week would play out because last year I asked our guests who wanted to stay for the weekend and because we got about six staying, we made all kinds of plans with art classes, manicurists, hair dressers, etc. and then only three stayed! I wasn't doing that again. Their disappointment was visible and the question "Can we sleep later?" was very telling. A few days with them told me that they were pretty compatible, respectful of each other's space and very polite and respectful to us. And of course, I was beginning to feel guilty!! After reading the article in the Observer about the Southern Christmas Show and having participated in that for years with my business, I called the Southern Shows and asked if we could possibly have some free tickets for our group. I've worked with the owners, Robert, Joan and David Zimmerman who I found out this morning is on the SACOH board, for years and their advertising department were eager to give me tickets - 16 of them! At the meeting, I explained to the women our experience last year with people changing their minds and how we have to adjust drivers, meals, etc. and then presented them with three choices. When I told them they could stay on our campus for the weekend, they cheered. When I told them I had tickets for the show, there was even more cheering. I had made up a chart - previous experiences are as good as hind sight - and told our guests that I was going to pass around two charts, one for Saturday with 3 choices and one for Sunday with 2. Then I said to them with a big smile on my face that whatever they commit themselves to on this paper by the next morning, THEY WOULD HAVE TO DO!! Everybody laughed and by this morning the charts were completely filled out. The results are that only one person wants to go to the COH on Saturday to meet her daughter, four want to stay on campus and six want to go to the show. On Sunday, we have 3 going back to attend their own churches and eight staying on campus.
You know, one of the most interesting points made in the seminar we had a couple of weeks ago on poverty was that this population doesn't know how to plan for the future. They CAN'T. They don't know from day to day where they will be, who will be in charge, etc. We in the middle class plan for college, vacations, retirement, next week! They can't do that and with that in mind by waiting until a time closer to the weekend for a decision from them perhaps was one reason we got better and more definitive results.
After dinner, we returned to the Fellowship Hall and a yoga instructor was there for our class. The women were quite interested in this when I announced it the first night. We had about six participants along with the chaperones Bentley Ball, Shirley Coffman and Anne Arentz. Yvonne, the instructor, struck the perfect balance with quiet easy moves and a bit of challenge as well. She gave them good ideas about developing balance, like standing on one foot while they brush their teeth or doing that and brushing with their less dominant hand, things they could do no matter what their circumstances. I tried it this morning - wobble, wobble....
Tonight one of our residents from last year, Irene Wilson, who found a job while she was with us at Presby and possibly her daughter Chantelle who was with us and also found a job, are coming for dinner and a visit. A few of us have kept in touch with Irene this past year and she was absolutely delighted "and honored" to come back "with bells on." We are going to give her and any guest who wants to join her the opportunity to speak in private about her past year, what she has accomplished and how. I hope they take inspiration and motivation from her story and realize that the situation they are in is surmountable with some determination. I say that easily but I know it's a bad situation and I am so in awe of what Irene has done. Because she got the job during the time she was with us, I hope that just having a place to leave her belongings and not having to take them with her to a job interview (can you imagine???) was the tiniest bit of help.
Tomorrow Nancy Templin takes my place for three days but I'm sure I'm going to have to sneak over for a visit or two while I'm "off-duty". Meanwhile, if anyone would like to come over Saturday or Sunday and join us in doing jigsaw puzzles, playing cards, watching TV or just laying low, come on over. "You'll be glad you did."
Day Four, There are painful places that need to be touched
Last evening, I joined the ladies for a couple of hours. I am glad I did.
There is something about sharing food with each other that seems to peel away layers of protection more quickly than just sitting side by side.
I enjoyed my conversation with the women I sat with over dinner. I was very much aware of Faith sitting at the adjoining table, once again wearing her long neck scarf and her knitted cap. Each time I have seen her in her knitted cap, I note it is pulled way down on her forehead so that her eyes are either protected or it seems to help her keep her distance.
You know me, never met a stranger and making personal contact, meaningful personal contact, is something that I am driven to do. If someone is closed off from me, I feel I've let them down, not that it is about me, but I just feel I need a real connection with these women. Part of it is growing up lonely as a child, just me and Dad. Part of it is just how God wired me. Whatever the reason, I was drawn to Faith, not because she spoke to me, but because of the shadow I recognized from my father's face. I sensed a level of depression there on this young face -- she would later confirm just that. I asked if she had been enjoying her hot tea in the evenings and she said that she was a decaf tea drinker and since we did not have decaf, she just didn't want to make extra work for someone. (note to self to get decaf tea bags today). Anyway I asked her where she was from and she said Charlotte. I asked her where she went to school and she said South Mecklenburg, and after some more gentle probing, I learned she graduated from Carolina as did her mother and father. In fact that is where her mother and father met, fell in love and would later marry. Her eyes began to brighten and she became more animated in her conversation. I asked what her major was and if she liked what course of study she chose. She said political science and yes then she started talking about her days at Huntingtown Farms school and later her time at South Mecklenburg and how many students graduated there. She said she was the 2,221 graduate in her class. Since my table partners had left, I asked if I could join her at her table. She said yes but with a downcast glaze I asked if she would rather be alone or to go to her room and rest and she asked that I please stay. She took a deep breath and then the pain I had seen in her eyes and demeanor were replaced with the sorrowful words - "father passed away three weeks ago." I asked if her mother were still living -- alas, she had died when Faith was young.
All alone she is, doesn't get to see her brother very often. She talked about her father and how deep and good their relationship was. I'm not going to go into detail here because while she didn't say privacy or speak if it were so, I feel as though it was a private conversation that passed between us. She changed the subject to lighter topics, books, movies, etc. She then excused herself and said she was headed to her room. I hung back rather than walk with her to The Fellowship Hall. After a few minutes, I walked over. Yoga was underway for the ladies -- wow, didn't know Tandy was so nimble and that Ann Arentz, well, she can just about bend her head between her knees. Shirley Coffman's legs go way high. I was watching them, and then Faith walks up to me and puts her arms out as if for a hug. You know how you give the half hugs, well, she hugged me tight and I hugged her back -- tears were streaming down her face and she said thank you. Faith said "I have not been able to talk about my father."
This morning, she is bright, speaks to me first and smiles as she gets her morning beverages.
Human connection, a soft touch, a soft voice, and a sincere wish to help. Last night I connected, but so did Faith.
God is Great!
There is something about sharing food with each other that seems to peel away layers of protection more quickly than just sitting side by side.
I enjoyed my conversation with the women I sat with over dinner. I was very much aware of Faith sitting at the adjoining table, once again wearing her long neck scarf and her knitted cap. Each time I have seen her in her knitted cap, I note it is pulled way down on her forehead so that her eyes are either protected or it seems to help her keep her distance.
You know me, never met a stranger and making personal contact, meaningful personal contact, is something that I am driven to do. If someone is closed off from me, I feel I've let them down, not that it is about me, but I just feel I need a real connection with these women. Part of it is growing up lonely as a child, just me and Dad. Part of it is just how God wired me. Whatever the reason, I was drawn to Faith, not because she spoke to me, but because of the shadow I recognized from my father's face. I sensed a level of depression there on this young face -- she would later confirm just that. I asked if she had been enjoying her hot tea in the evenings and she said that she was a decaf tea drinker and since we did not have decaf, she just didn't want to make extra work for someone. (note to self to get decaf tea bags today). Anyway I asked her where she was from and she said Charlotte. I asked her where she went to school and she said South Mecklenburg, and after some more gentle probing, I learned she graduated from Carolina as did her mother and father. In fact that is where her mother and father met, fell in love and would later marry. Her eyes began to brighten and she became more animated in her conversation. I asked what her major was and if she liked what course of study she chose. She said political science and yes then she started talking about her days at Huntingtown Farms school and later her time at South Mecklenburg and how many students graduated there. She said she was the 2,221 graduate in her class. Since my table partners had left, I asked if I could join her at her table. She said yes but with a downcast glaze I asked if she would rather be alone or to go to her room and rest and she asked that I please stay. She took a deep breath and then the pain I had seen in her eyes and demeanor were replaced with the sorrowful words - "father passed away three weeks ago." I asked if her mother were still living -- alas, she had died when Faith was young.
All alone she is, doesn't get to see her brother very often. She talked about her father and how deep and good their relationship was. I'm not going to go into detail here because while she didn't say privacy or speak if it were so, I feel as though it was a private conversation that passed between us. She changed the subject to lighter topics, books, movies, etc. She then excused herself and said she was headed to her room. I hung back rather than walk with her to The Fellowship Hall. After a few minutes, I walked over. Yoga was underway for the ladies -- wow, didn't know Tandy was so nimble and that Ann Arentz, well, she can just about bend her head between her knees. Shirley Coffman's legs go way high. I was watching them, and then Faith walks up to me and puts her arms out as if for a hug. You know how you give the half hugs, well, she hugged me tight and I hugged her back -- tears were streaming down her face and she said thank you. Faith said "I have not been able to talk about my father."
This morning, she is bright, speaks to me first and smiles as she gets her morning beverages.
Human connection, a soft touch, a soft voice, and a sincere wish to help. Last night I connected, but so did Faith.
God is Great!
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
It was a breathless time Monday evening - where were they, did we forget anything? And then, all of a sudden chaos ensued and people were hauling stuff into Fellowship Hall, greeting new faces, looking for a space to put down roots for two weeks. Getting everyone to sit down and have a bit of "How-do" before dinner was like herding cats - but finally all were assembled, the meeting was attended, dinner was eaten and the evening chores started. for some, it was sorting "stuff", for others getting a shower. And some were just trying to get comfy in new surroundings.
It was an experience - I hope many of you will find the opportunity to - well, get experience!
It was an experience - I hope many of you will find the opportunity to - well, get experience!
Day One, They Are Here!
Timid, arms close to the chest, trash bags full of belongings, tall, short, white headed, blonde, dark, quiet, talkative, eyes darting, eyes looking down, and quiet thank yous to transportation providers. These words describe those arriving yesterday in the first wave from the Center of HOPE.
I joined them just as dinner was finishing up and began to see relaxation take hold. Smiles were replacing the look of timidity. I met a friend from last year -- she said she was sad to be back, but so pleased to be back at Providence and to see that many of us had returned. We hugged, she looks good and looks strong. Last year she was so quiet, and very passive to the stronger personalities of a year ago in attendance. This year, she walks confidently and smiles quickly and presents herself very lady-like. She asks if we will help with resumes again and I tell her we will. She says thanks, she wants help this year. (Last year, she was reluctant to be involved and kept to herself, and ironed and watched movies.)
I quickly learned that we had a pianist among the group of this year's guests, which one likes hot tea, and one that loves a long hot shower. Quickly, they revealed how pleased they were to be here. Helen tells me that word is out that Providence is a five-star top of the list place to be and that its people have big hearts. Hey, I know that!
A serious accident on Providence delayed our guests return this morning to the Center, but also gave each of our drivers an opportunity to talk and to learn more about our guests. Driving each day is such an important part of the sheltering we can provide our guests. Thank you to those who signed up to drive and to drive multiple times, some even morning and afternoon. You are the best!
I wished everyone could have joined in when we sang Fairest Lord Jesus, but alas, three chose to call it a night early. We couldn't blame them, what a day they had preparing their belongings and being part of an adventure that they didn't know how it would be. Can you imagine, carrying all that you own, all that you have in a plastic bag and getting in a car with people you don't know to spend the night in a place you have never been to and eat food prepared by the hands of people you don't know, and sleep where you have never been before. How unsettlingly. How important for us to ease their mind, and help them feel safe and secure as quickly as possible.
Because of a prior out of town commitment this afternoon, I will not rejoin the group until tomorrow, already I will miss them and seeing Annie's smile.
I joined them just as dinner was finishing up and began to see relaxation take hold. Smiles were replacing the look of timidity. I met a friend from last year -- she said she was sad to be back, but so pleased to be back at Providence and to see that many of us had returned. We hugged, she looks good and looks strong. Last year she was so quiet, and very passive to the stronger personalities of a year ago in attendance. This year, she walks confidently and smiles quickly and presents herself very lady-like. She asks if we will help with resumes again and I tell her we will. She says thanks, she wants help this year. (Last year, she was reluctant to be involved and kept to herself, and ironed and watched movies.)
I quickly learned that we had a pianist among the group of this year's guests, which one likes hot tea, and one that loves a long hot shower. Quickly, they revealed how pleased they were to be here. Helen tells me that word is out that Providence is a five-star top of the list place to be and that its people have big hearts. Hey, I know that!
A serious accident on Providence delayed our guests return this morning to the Center, but also gave each of our drivers an opportunity to talk and to learn more about our guests. Driving each day is such an important part of the sheltering we can provide our guests. Thank you to those who signed up to drive and to drive multiple times, some even morning and afternoon. You are the best!
I wished everyone could have joined in when we sang Fairest Lord Jesus, but alas, three chose to call it a night early. We couldn't blame them, what a day they had preparing their belongings and being part of an adventure that they didn't know how it would be. Can you imagine, carrying all that you own, all that you have in a plastic bag and getting in a car with people you don't know to spend the night in a place you have never been to and eat food prepared by the hands of people you don't know, and sleep where you have never been before. How unsettlingly. How important for us to ease their mind, and help them feel safe and secure as quickly as possible.
Because of a prior out of town commitment this afternoon, I will not rejoin the group until tomorrow, already I will miss them and seeing Annie's smile.
Welcome to our Blog!
Hi Everyone! Being a part of the committee that organizes, welcomes and gets to know the homeless women who grace our church each year is a wonderful experience filled with joy, excitement, poignancy and tears.
We wanted to share this experience with all of you and hope that you will follow along for the next two weeks as we - myself Tandy Graham, co-coordinators Jill Maxwell, Nancy Templin and our resident resume writer/ "head of personnel" Paulette Purgason - share our experiences and thoughts.
Our guests arrived last night around 6 PM with all their belongings in suitcases and plastic bags, every one of them as unique and precious as God made them. Some had smiles on their faces, some were hesitant. All were a bit uncertain but very grateful. We had several greeters ready to help them bring in their things and get settled. The Sisters small group had arranged the Fellowship Hall the day before into a warm and welcoming environment with each of the four classrooms set up as bedrooms, three beds in each, with beds made and baskets of toiletries collected by Emily McCormick from so many generous parishioners and lovingly put together with pretty tissue and bows by Camie and Chandler Hobson with help from Mom Cyndie, their third year in a row. I swear the Sisters even managed to color coordinate the bedding in each room that was so graciously loaned by so many of you and put it on the wonderful new air mattresses donated anonymously by two church angels.
We gathered together with the ladies and explained the guidelines and schedules that we need them to follow and then the greeters walked them into the CLC and showed them where the bathrooms and showers are located and into the parlor where the fireplace was blazing and where the kitchen and dining room are located. Boy Scout Troop 164 led by Peets Guice who had been cooking wonderful smelling cajun sausage, beans and rice for two days were anxious to help. The tables were set with festive napkins and tablecloths and the Scouts were eager to carry their plates for them to their tables. The women were hungry and quiet and tired. Grace was said by one of the Scouts and dinner was enjoyed by all. The dessert cart was a special treat as a Scout wheeled it in and served each guest. I told them not to get too used to the service; they'd be on their own after this meal!!
After dinner, some of the women showered; some went to their rooms; all were quiet. Let me introduce them to you if I can remember them all:
Annie- quiet and reserved and with us last year. Jill and Paulette and I were all happy and sad at the same time to see her. She says "I'm better this year" and we hope so. She is ex-armed services, Navy, I think, very articulate and loves to iron.
Helen - perhaps the oldest; strong faith, dressed, waiting for coffee and ready to go when I arrived at 5:30 this morning.
Dana - long blond hair, very grateful, from Charlotte. Was in a trolley accident two weeks ago and still experiencing back pain. Wonderful southern accent.
Sadia - pronounced with the accent on the "i" - from London and has a slight English accent. Been in the states 12 years.
Fran - tall, in charge! Was the primary speaker at the evening meeting and real disappointed she's going to miss "Dancing with the Stars". Definitely a big personality.
Wanda - Fran's sidekick, quiet and a bit sullen at dinner but more cheerful this morning.
Faith - tall, always with a knit cap on. Haven't seen her smile yet. Very hesitant and cautious. We'll make a smile a personal goal of ours.
Carol - quiet, nice smile; don't know much about her yet. She was very pleased this morning when I remembered her name
Chanie - 21, 24th of 24 siblings!!! Lost three brothers in August - we don't know how. Had on red eyeshadow this morning!
Nancy - short, straight white hair - told us she's a mezzo-soprano; eager to go to choir practice and played some hymns on the piano last night while Katelyn, Paulette, myself and one other - sorry, can't remember who- joined in.
I don't swear that I have them all correct but I hope my co-authors will help me on this if I don't!
We only had 10 our first night. One is no longer in the program and the other has cancer and is in the hospital undergoing radiation. I can't get her off my mind even though I don't know who she is. We should be getting two more tonight.
This morning I arrived at 5:30 and woke all 13 sleeping beauties except Helen who was up, dressed and waiting for coffee and ready to go. Norma Lefler and Wally French arrived soon after with a wonderful breakfast of fruit, sausages, and casseroles which everyone enjoyed - except Helen.
WR Purgason had arrived quite early to drive, so he and Helen enjoyed a long conversation in the parlor over coffee. When I came in to tell her breakfast was ready, she said because she had no teeth she would just have coffee. I served her some soft egg casserole but that didn't work. She said she could eat oatmeal but we couldn't find any. She wondered if we might have something like Ensure. Gale Kinney who was helping with breakfast and driving remarked aside to me that she had eaten dinner with Helen the night before and she had eaten very little, so Gale offered to make a trip to the store to get her some Ensure and oatmeal for other mornings. She also bought her some yogurt and it's in the frig labeled "for Helen". Thanks, Gale.
The hardest thing for me this whole time was being firm and saying no to some things that came up in order not to set the precedent that we would do anything for them that they asked. As we learned from social worker Wanda Alexander at our poverty seminar and from previous experience last year, that precedent can lead to demands later from the women that we begin to resent. That's when you have to pull back and not let your heart get too involved although inside you are mush and want to do everything you can. One small altercation came up last night when one resident wanted a fan on in the room and the other did not. Katelyn Gordon, who was one of the chaperones last night along with Beverly Davis and Phyllis Edwards, firmly told them both that that was something that they would simply have to work out themselves and apparently they did. Annie wanted to iron her clothes and I had neglected to ask for an iron/ironing board like we had last year so Mary Ramsey left to get one. We knew from last year how important that was to Annie. Gale went and got Ensure for Helen because that was real important, too. So we made some judgements - there are just some things that you know are needs, not wants and you do them. You have to judge what isn't, steel yourself and then say "no" or "maybe tomorrow we'll do that".
We wanted to share this experience with all of you and hope that you will follow along for the next two weeks as we - myself Tandy Graham, co-coordinators Jill Maxwell, Nancy Templin and our resident resume writer/ "head of personnel" Paulette Purgason - share our experiences and thoughts.
Our guests arrived last night around 6 PM with all their belongings in suitcases and plastic bags, every one of them as unique and precious as God made them. Some had smiles on their faces, some were hesitant. All were a bit uncertain but very grateful. We had several greeters ready to help them bring in their things and get settled. The Sisters small group had arranged the Fellowship Hall the day before into a warm and welcoming environment with each of the four classrooms set up as bedrooms, three beds in each, with beds made and baskets of toiletries collected by Emily McCormick from so many generous parishioners and lovingly put together with pretty tissue and bows by Camie and Chandler Hobson with help from Mom Cyndie, their third year in a row. I swear the Sisters even managed to color coordinate the bedding in each room that was so graciously loaned by so many of you and put it on the wonderful new air mattresses donated anonymously by two church angels.
We gathered together with the ladies and explained the guidelines and schedules that we need them to follow and then the greeters walked them into the CLC and showed them where the bathrooms and showers are located and into the parlor where the fireplace was blazing and where the kitchen and dining room are located. Boy Scout Troop 164 led by Peets Guice who had been cooking wonderful smelling cajun sausage, beans and rice for two days were anxious to help. The tables were set with festive napkins and tablecloths and the Scouts were eager to carry their plates for them to their tables. The women were hungry and quiet and tired. Grace was said by one of the Scouts and dinner was enjoyed by all. The dessert cart was a special treat as a Scout wheeled it in and served each guest. I told them not to get too used to the service; they'd be on their own after this meal!!
After dinner, some of the women showered; some went to their rooms; all were quiet. Let me introduce them to you if I can remember them all:
Annie- quiet and reserved and with us last year. Jill and Paulette and I were all happy and sad at the same time to see her. She says "I'm better this year" and we hope so. She is ex-armed services, Navy, I think, very articulate and loves to iron.
Helen - perhaps the oldest; strong faith, dressed, waiting for coffee and ready to go when I arrived at 5:30 this morning.
Dana - long blond hair, very grateful, from Charlotte. Was in a trolley accident two weeks ago and still experiencing back pain. Wonderful southern accent.
Sadia - pronounced with the accent on the "i" - from London and has a slight English accent. Been in the states 12 years.
Fran - tall, in charge! Was the primary speaker at the evening meeting and real disappointed she's going to miss "Dancing with the Stars". Definitely a big personality.
Wanda - Fran's sidekick, quiet and a bit sullen at dinner but more cheerful this morning.
Faith - tall, always with a knit cap on. Haven't seen her smile yet. Very hesitant and cautious. We'll make a smile a personal goal of ours.
Carol - quiet, nice smile; don't know much about her yet. She was very pleased this morning when I remembered her name
Chanie - 21, 24th of 24 siblings!!! Lost three brothers in August - we don't know how. Had on red eyeshadow this morning!
Nancy - short, straight white hair - told us she's a mezzo-soprano; eager to go to choir practice and played some hymns on the piano last night while Katelyn, Paulette, myself and one other - sorry, can't remember who- joined in.
I don't swear that I have them all correct but I hope my co-authors will help me on this if I don't!
We only had 10 our first night. One is no longer in the program and the other has cancer and is in the hospital undergoing radiation. I can't get her off my mind even though I don't know who she is. We should be getting two more tonight.
This morning I arrived at 5:30 and woke all 13 sleeping beauties except Helen who was up, dressed and waiting for coffee and ready to go. Norma Lefler and Wally French arrived soon after with a wonderful breakfast of fruit, sausages, and casseroles which everyone enjoyed - except Helen.
WR Purgason had arrived quite early to drive, so he and Helen enjoyed a long conversation in the parlor over coffee. When I came in to tell her breakfast was ready, she said because she had no teeth she would just have coffee. I served her some soft egg casserole but that didn't work. She said she could eat oatmeal but we couldn't find any. She wondered if we might have something like Ensure. Gale Kinney who was helping with breakfast and driving remarked aside to me that she had eaten dinner with Helen the night before and she had eaten very little, so Gale offered to make a trip to the store to get her some Ensure and oatmeal for other mornings. She also bought her some yogurt and it's in the frig labeled "for Helen". Thanks, Gale.
The hardest thing for me this whole time was being firm and saying no to some things that came up in order not to set the precedent that we would do anything for them that they asked. As we learned from social worker Wanda Alexander at our poverty seminar and from previous experience last year, that precedent can lead to demands later from the women that we begin to resent. That's when you have to pull back and not let your heart get too involved although inside you are mush and want to do everything you can. One small altercation came up last night when one resident wanted a fan on in the room and the other did not. Katelyn Gordon, who was one of the chaperones last night along with Beverly Davis and Phyllis Edwards, firmly told them both that that was something that they would simply have to work out themselves and apparently they did. Annie wanted to iron her clothes and I had neglected to ask for an iron/ironing board like we had last year so Mary Ramsey left to get one. We knew from last year how important that was to Annie. Gale went and got Ensure for Helen because that was real important, too. So we made some judgements - there are just some things that you know are needs, not wants and you do them. You have to judge what isn't, steel yourself and then say "no" or "maybe tomorrow we'll do that".
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